Breaking Bad

I’ve been entirely too good lately.

It’s partly this whole teacher gig, the good wife and good daughter roles, the Miss Nicey-Nice to the point of gagging persona I seem to have unthinkingly branded myself with. I mean, I am mostly nice, but that’s not all there is to me.

What can I do that’s somewhat bad, risky, or at least a bit out of character, but not (totally) illegal?

Buy and wear a black leather miniskirt. The legs are still pretty good, especially camouflaged in tights. Do they make leather minis in a size 12 with an elastic waist?

Try some F-me high heeled pumps? Nah, I’d fall and give myself a concussion. I did see a pair of teal suede platform ones at Belk’s Department store tonight. They were so high I’d need an oxygen mask.

See if my local bailbonds-woman needs some help with FTA’s (Failure to Appears)? Thanks to HomeReared Chef and Victoria’s View, I’m addicted to Janet Evanovich’s book series about Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter (the movie just came out with Katherine Heigel as Stephanie). Besides, I’m just dying to have pink handcuffs like BadLuck Detective.

Go to ladies’ night at Shooter’s World, our local indoor shooting range. Ba-bang, bang, bang. I’ll post the video of my superior marksmanship. Just need to get my bifocal scrip updated a bit first.

Book a trip to my local zip-line excursion park. They zip you through the trees and over a waterfall. You won’t catch me skydiving, but I’m ready for the zip line. No, really. Want to come with me?

Go skinny dipping again. It’s been way too long. Need to find a heated pool. Cold water makes my heart feel like it’s going to stop.  

Order appetizer AND dessert for once. 

Learn to cuss more proficiently in Spanish.

Sing karaoke of my several of my favorite torch songs, while wearing sequins. Lots of sequins, and reclining across the top of a baby grand piano.  Or maybe I’ll lip-sync to Greg Allman’s I’m No Angel. 

Or ZZ top, I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide?

Cause I ain’t no angel, y’all. And I could take this nationwide.

What do you do when you break bad?