Officially in menopause as of October 2012, and now wondering
why we don’t throw parties to mark this occasion, I’ve been doing some
menstrual math.
The book, Riding Astride: The Frontier in Women’s History, by Patricia Riley
Dunlap, inspired me to ponder some numbers associated with menstruation. Dunlap
goes into detail explaining how women’s biology-- experiencing childbirth
every two years, breastfeeding, child rearing, and menstruation-- often confined
them to the home virtually until they died, most often by their forties.
Amazed that women ever had a spare minute to make the
intriguing and important history that they have, and not having thought about
women’s history in quite this way, I questioned the numbers related to the menstruation
in my own life.
For me, my 12th birthday was the never-to-be-forgotten
day of my first period. Whoopee! Little did I know about the years ahead.
The years.
Age twelve from age fifty-five is dear Lord, 43 years! Of menstruation.
Let’s let that sink in. Forty-three. Years.
I menstruated for more years than most women used to live.
My average period was seven days. That’s 3,612 days of Aunt
Thelma. Let’s say I used 6 sanitary products per day on average. Now we’re at
21,672 products. Since periods and cramps went hand-in-hand
for me, let’s say I used 4 aspirin or later Acetaminophen or similar per day.
Suddenly I understand why there’s a CVS or Walgreen’s on
every corner with me knocking the doors down to purchase 14,448 cramp-killer
pills plus all those pads and tampons. That’s not counting the icepacks for
headaches, the cola to settle my stomach, the pimple cream, the salty snacks,
the sweet snacks.
No, I won’t do the calculations in dollar amounts. I'm just guessing the cash would pay for an extended luxury vacation in the Mediterranean or the South Pacific. With lots of fruity drinks and a massage therapist on staff. But I digress.
What do all these numbers mean?
Derned if I know.
But hey, Menstruation—I don’t miss you. Not even a little.
But hey, Menstruation—I don’t miss you. Not even a little.
I'm about to turn 50 and guess i'm still in perimenopause though am regular....maybe I have a few more years ...? 'I'lll miss pMS to explain my cranky days.
ReplyDeleteHa-ha my cranky days are definitely living on-- and sometimes it feels so much like PMS I think my ovaries are having a last gasp.
DeleteI'll take the luxury vacation thank you. And menopause lasted too long too. Thank goodness for Black Cohosh.
ReplyDeleteHi Gaelyn! If only the Black Cohosh worked for me, alas. I am ready to move on to another phase, but menopause has a pretty tight hold on me for the moment.
DeleteYes, all in all, a vacation would be SO much better!
I started late (15) and went into perimenopause early (38). Had an ablation so haven't had a period in 11 years, and I turn 50 soon. I like my math better... :)
ReplyDeleteHi Julie-- you got an A in menstrual math, lol.
DeleteI am of a mind that the start and end should be celebrated. Nice to no longer have period surprises!
ReplyDeleteSeems to me we miss out on some good potential parties. Especially at the menopause end. Perhaps we need to start a new tradition?
DeleteI began my time 2 weeks after turning 12. And the end of December 2009 I said "Farewell" (good riddance!) to my messy periods. lol!
ReplyDeleteI am really amazed that someone actually took the time to do "math calculations. But of course it would be an English teacher. Then again, it should have come from a math major. lol! :)
LOVED, love the post Amiga. You should add it to the pages of your book. :)
Mucho love and BIG hugs!
That's a lot of periods, any way we look at it. No wonder we are strong women.
DeleteI think I sprained my brain doing the arithmetic-- I'll leave the math to the math majors for a while!
Love and hugs back, Amiga!
Enjoyed the post, and thanks for the math. My fertile period was about the same as yours (ages 13 - 55) and was interrupted by three pregnancies - two of them rather late. I was a bit luckier than most, with very little pain and the periods didn't last so long (about four days), but they were more frequent (every 21 - 24 days). I, too, was REALLY glad to have it all over with! We ought to celebrate! Crony crones!
ReplyDeleteAnd here's hoping that we all live to age 108. In that extra 50 years without reproductive stress, maybe we can change the world for the better.
Love that "Crony Crones!" I do so hope we menopausal women can bring some much needed change during the hopefully many healthy years we have left. Power to us!
DeleteThanks for commenting, JAVS!
This is terrifying. I don't even want to think about these things. Glad you did it for me!
ReplyDeleteIt is terrifying! But I guess we are towers of strength to get through it all.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this post. I, too, started menstruating at age 12 (though not on my actual birthday). Around my mid- to late-teens, when societally menopause was still the dreaded, secretive "change of life" (not that it's not still dreaded and secretive in some circles, in some ways, but it's certainly different--at least more open now), I remember reading an interview with Jane Fonda (who was just entering her forties) in which she said she didn't understand what all the fuss about menopause was about since she couldn't wait for the "whole mess" to just be over. When I see all those calculations you made, I can really, really see her point.
ReplyDeleteI hit the "one year, free and clear" mark of official menopause last May. I can't be sure, but I believe I may have had the worst perimenopause in the history of womanhood. It didn't last as long as some women report (I've heard stories of ten, even TWELVE years!!!), but the intensity of my symptoms was off the charts.
ReplyDeleteI was determined to go natural--no HRT. I tried black cohosh. It did nothing for my menopausal symptoms, but did add lovely bouts of rolling nausea. I tried some other herbal concoction that my cousin swore by. Nada. Finally, I found Promensil and I swear, that stuff saved my sanity. I still take one tablet daily with my dinner and so far, I'm still sane(ish). I'm a little terrified at the idea of stopping the little green pills.