Sunday, April 22, 2012

Stalking Steve, My "Primal Grill" Crush

The recent alleged stalking of Alec Baldwin got me thinking. Uh-oh.  Very dangereuse, me, thinking.

Alec Baldwin? Pphht. Come on.

If I were a stalker, I could do waayyy better than Alec Baldwin. Geeze Louise with squeeze cheese on top.

If I were a stalker, I would stalk Steve Raichlen. (Note to FBI: this is completely hypothetical and represents no intent to commit an illegal act.)

Yes, the award winning Barbeque University founder and Primal Grill cooking show guy. Wrote the best sellers The Barbeque Bible and How to Grill along with 26 other books.  Trained in Paris at Cordon Bleu and La Varenne cooking schools.

Now, with Steve we have some serious stalking potential. He grills. He travels the world. He’s handsome, smart, and he GRILLS.

Have you seen his TV show, Primal Grill, on PBS? The man has at least three barbecues full of food going at once, with a few more smoking in the background for ambience. Hubba-hubba.  

He grills with gas, charcoal, hickory wood, apple wood, rotisserie style, in a brick oven, with skewers, on rosemary twigs, with rubs, marinades, brines, AND he always cleans his grill both before AND after cooking.

This is a man a girl can pin her midlife daydreams on. Hmmn. Would it be completely sexist to add him as a Pin on Pinterest? What category? For the home?

I assure you, my affection for Steve is not mere lust. No, these are feelings not only of attraction but of genuine admiration.

He’s perhaps the foremost authority on grilling habits of cultures around the globe. He’s the kind of smart that I find, well, sexy. He’s absolutely brainy. He had a Fulbright scholarship, for Pete’s sake.

He projects an air of calm, even when the game hens flare up. He never panics; he is fearless at the Weber kettle. He voice is strong, slow, and quietly confident.  In fact, Primal Grill is on in the background as I write.

He just said “What really turns me on…” and my breath caught in my throat. “Is finding a barbeque recipe that exists nowhere else in the world,” in that silky, smooth voice of his.

Now he’s wrapping a Columbian-style beef tenderloin Lomo al Trapo in a cloth with salt crust enlivened by a mix of herbs. He’s tying it up with string; his hands are masterful and dexterous. Oh, Steve has mad skills. He puts the beefy bundle in a bed of wood coals. He adds sweet potatoes, in their naked skins, to roast beside the meat. 

Just think of the anti-oxidants. 

Is anyone else feeling rather warm?

He’s wearing a natural linen button-down shirt, untucked, and his round, John Lennon glasses. Garlic-cilantro butter gets basted on the now roasted-to-perfection sweet potatoes. Steve rolls his “r” when he says “cilantro.” 

“Looks like we nailed it,” he says as he’s carving the tenderloin. “Smoky and succulent,” he adds.

Oh, Steve. Tell me more.

P.S. In case you got worried, I love my husband and he loves me! His fantasy girl is Anne Burrell, who stars on Food Network's Secrets of a Restaurant Chef. Sometimes, if I use extra hair gel, and he squints, he says I look like her! 


  1. So now you dare to ask, "Is anyone else feeling rather warm?" Heck yeah! I've often and heard, and even see skits, on mixing sex and food, but never had I believed it. lol!

    Though it was 95 yesterday, and almost as hot today, I need to check if the heater is on. It's getting a little hot here! :)

    I just told my husband about Steve "the grill man," and he is very curious about him. My husband LOVES to bbq too! Hubba, hubba, hubba...!

    Much love and BIG hugs, Querida Amiga!

  2. That is just too hot for the Bay area, 95!
    I like Steve, as you can tell, and now another cooking cutie is on PBS, Rick Baylis (think that is how he spells his name). He is very dapper looking with a white mustache and beard. His specialty is "real" Mexican food, he has a famous restaurant in Chicago, and he brings his grown daughter on the show to help him cook.
    May have to write Rick up for another post!
    Seems unfair that I give men "extra credit" for cooking, but I do, lol.
    Love and big hugs back, Virginia!

  3. I have just one question for you. How do you feel about Steve Raichlen?

  4. Hysterical. I gabbed Annie, and read this to her, so that she could appreciate it also. Thanks, Melanie, for a Sunday afternoon delight.

  5. Hi, Word Nerd! Well, Steve is okay. But Rick Baylis may give him a run for his money... what am I saying?! Steve, it's always been you and barbecue!

  6. Aw, shucks, Mark. You've made my day!

  7. I just love a man who can handle his meat. (wait for it....*giggle*). I'll have to look up this crush of yours, you might need some help with the stalking (KIDDING Mr. FBI man, unless it is a woman...then she'll probably be on our side). You could start a Pinterest board, "Meat - it does a body good" or "Got Meat? Turn up the heat). I could do this allll night....

  8. I saw Alec Baldwin on Broadway in a production of A Streetcar Named Desire (woof!). You can keep Steve, and from now on, just call me Stella :)

  9. Awesomeness. Smart man + hot meat = goooood. With or without the barbecue. *cackles* =D

  10. Alienbody-- you are on a tear, girl! Let's take this show on the road! Ha-ha you are such a naughty girl.
    Now I know how to get you going...;)

  11. Hello MMM, aka Stellllaaa! Alec must have been good as Stanley.
    We have a deal, as long as Steve is barbecueing in my backyard, so to speak.

  12. Hi Desi, The best of everything, ha! If only I could afford Barbecue University, but it's terribly expensive. Steve must have one heck of a bank account. And he's written a novel to come out this summer-- man of many talents.

  13. I definitely think a guy who really knows how to grill is sexy!
    I've never watched any of his TV show.
    Now, I'm very curious of your "Anne" hair. Do the hair and show me in your next post~ You would look great, Melanie!

  14. Ha-ha! Too funny, Colleen. I will gel my hair up and take a picture, if you promise I won't lose any readers, lol! Thanks for reading!

  15. Oh, my gosh, I have to look this hottie up and I loved, "Where to Pin him?" "Something for the the home?" Made me laugh!

  16. I was trying not to be too terribly sexist to my Stevie. He is versatile, and that we gotta love.
    Thanks for reading!

  17. Oh, Melanie, I have LOVED Rick Bayless for EVER!!! And I would LOVE for you to write about him. He is The BOMB! And I love YOU for liking the wanna-be-Mexican white man. Sorry, but that is how they refer to him. Of course, this is said with high respect. He is a TOTAL cutie. :)

    Mucho love mi Amiga!

  18. You had my juices going when you said that he cleans his grill before and after. LOVE THAT about a man. And, he can cook. Whew - fanning myself.

    1. Agreed. I do the grilling (hubby does the smoking in the smoker), but he cleaned the grill after the last time I used it, after it hadn't been cleaned in eons, and I caught the vapors. (And I don't mean lighter fluid vapors.)

  19. Oh, this was spectacular. I've never seen the show and now I feel like maybe I should watch it alone. ;)

  20. He is cute! I think I would like to send my hubby to learn the grill from him. Maybe then ..he may look more handsome :-)

  21. Hi Elaine-- yes, let's get our priorities straight. If he cleans his own grill before and after, the rest of his traits *almost* don't matter!

  22. Masked Mom-- I always watch the show alone, lol. My hubs doesn't seem to find it interesting!You are a naughty girl. ;)

  23. Handsome is as handsome does. In my case a man is gorgeous if he cleans the grill AND cooks the food. Thanks for stopping by!

  24. I can't stop laughing. Call me from jail and I'll put a good word in for you. I also agree with you about Alec, PLEEEASE!

  25. Hi Suzie! You know, I think Primal Grill was even filmed out your way in Arizona. So keep your eyes peeled for Steve sightings.
    Yes, Alec has a smidge too much ego for my tastes. Give me a nice, humble grill-man any day.
    I'm trying to decide whether to read Fang Chronicles or Bad Luck Officer next. Both are happily installed on my Kindle!

  26. I love how both of you have the crush on Foodies.

    Acr0nym has a thing for Alton Brown. It's a totally weird bromance I do not understand. However, I feel exactly this way about Ira Glass.

  27. Good evening Melanie,
    I'm still waiting for your "Anne" hair~~
    Oh, yeah. I should tell you that the number of visitors/readers will just soar~~~~ :D

  28. You know, I think about this every time I wash my hair-- once I get through the end of the semester grading marathon, I'll do it!
    Now, where did I put my white chef's coat?
    Can't wait to see those new reader stats go through the roof! :)

  29. I didn't realize Steve was so well-rounded! Fulbright scholarship? Cordon Bleu school? It's clear from his books and his show that he knows his stuff, but wow, even more impressive!

    When I watch his show, he makes me think of the guy who used to do the painting show on public TV (I forget his name, but the guy with the afro who passed away in the last 5 years or so). Steve Raichlen has that same kind of mellow, confident demeanor.

    I think Marcus Samuelsson is still my #1 chef crush, but Steve is definitely awesome!

  30. How about all his academic achievements! And he's written his first novel due out this summer. I must look for it to learn even more about my crush. I hope he's a good sport if he ever reads about his many admirers. I would love to go to BBQ University one year, but it's too expensive ... unless Steve invites me as his special guest assistant, lol.