Pages

Sunday, January 29, 2012

What Winter? My Fashion Fail, part deux


So far, this winter has been a menopausal rip-off. At the risk of confirming my complete insanity, I will say that the weather here in North Carolina has been… too warm.

As I mentioned back in What Not to Wear: The Menopause Edition, I’ve been having my own personal global warming crisis. Having three delicate temperature settings, warm, warmer, and get the hell out of my way I need to put my head in the freezer, I looked forward to the winter of 2011-12 with deep yearning.

Alas, my hunger for cooling relief is unfulfilled. Here in coastal Carolina, we have had frost. We’ve had one night in the twenties. But daytime temps have been in the 50s, 60s, and 70s.

I’ve had to scrape some frost off my car windshield 3 times. By the afternoon commute, I am BLASTING THE AIR CONDITIONER IN MY CAR. Peeps, I weep. You may cry for me, Argentina.

I wear summer t-shirts. I wear cotton pants. If I could keep my legs shaved on a more reliable basis, I would wear skirts to get a bit more air… up there.

My fashion-forward girlfriends wear slimming, dark tights, sweet cashmere sweaters, cute boots.  I gaze at them in hopeless admiration. On the few cool-ish days when the non-menopausal wear fur-trimmed coats right in step with today’s styles, I wear a cotton hoodie, open to catch a breeze. Sometimes I take the hoodie off and tie it around my waist, keeping one eye open for a photographer from the Glamour magazine fashion “don’t” page.

Trying to find the silver (non-down filled) lining, I am thankful that local heating bills will be lower, the camellias are blooming with riotous abandon, the woodland creatures need not shiver. I won’t be a selfish, mean-spirited, menopausal crank.  

For at least the next five minutes.

11 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean. You can cry for me too, Argentina!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He-he. A little commiseration can help ever so much. Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  2. It's funny, because I have been thinking that this winter in Upstate NY reminds me of the winter I lived in NC!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lainey,
      Maybe if I bought some roller skates, I could get a bit of a breeze? ;-)

      Delete
  3. It's only January. Hopefully you'll catch a couple of cooler months to ease you into spring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure we'll get some butt-kicking cold sooner or later. I promise not to complain when it finally gets here! Thanks for stopping by, Miss Jane.

      Delete
  4. Oh! I hope it gets better! I think you should try a long flowy skirt, tank top, and a light sweater. The perfect solution to the weather blues and the best part you don't have to shave your legs ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Has anyone done any research on why we shave our legs in the first place? Who dreamed up this feminine punishment that keeps the Schick and Gillette heirs in the clover? Why am I a slave to convention who pays $20.00 for refills for the Venus shaver? These are the questions that try women's souls.
      And by the way, VV and Nini, I am on Stephanie Plum #6. Now there's a girl who understands fashion, Jersey style. ;)

      Delete
  5. What can I say to his, Melanie? Here in San Jose, CA, the weather has been awfully weird too: one moments is nice and warm and pleasant, and the next is really cold! Darn this weather. :)

    Hugs,

    ReplyDelete
  6. I should know better than to complain about the weather! It's just that I thought I might catch a break from being so --- fanning myself--- hot all the time. Maybe I'll cool down in another 10 years or so. At least I don't have to worry about applying "blush." It's all blush, all the time around here.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. I didn't know you were in North Carolina; my thoughts have very much been on Haterras Island, with a friend of mine.

    I appreciate the light-hearted look at a topic that usually produces anything but humor. I will make sure Annie gets a glimpse of this; it may be, that she has a better appreciation for the sentiments expressed.

    ReplyDelete